Ruminations, etc..

Musings, rantings, and pie.

Harry Potter and the Flogging of a Dead Horse

with 2 comments

Before we get into the meat of this post, let me start by assuring everyone that I really do like the Harry Potter books.  Like most people who start reading Rowling’s books and are over the age of 15, I found them to be surprisingly well-written and well thought out.  In fact, I thought Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban has one of the tightest plots I’ve ever read.  It could even be said the plot was Chandleresque!

If Harry knew what was waiting for him in adulthood, he probably would've stayed dead at the end of Deathly Hallows

However, I thought the ending of Deathly Hallows was disappointing.  It literally ends with Harry saying, “Whew — I’m glad that’s over!”  That’s not a great ending (a point I’ll be expanding on in a future Ruminations, etc., post. I know, you can’t wait…).  Furthermore, Rowling was abandoning her character right when things start getting interesting.  Childhood and adolescence, while magical, has nothing on the challenges awaiting Harry during his adulthood. Sure, they might not be as interesting or fun as being chased by Death Eaters over the skies of London, but after that, what is exciting? A topic that will be explored in the very first book in my Adult Harry Potter series.

Ruminations, Etc., is Proud to Present the Next Books in the Harry Potter Saga!

After graduating Hogwarts, things just aren’t as fun as they were in Harry’s youth.  Life seems bland and boring; not at all what is was like when Harry and his friends faced certain death every school year.  What will Harry do now? Will Harry triumph over his latest challenge in Harry Potter and the Perils of Peaking in Your Adolescence.

Moving on from Hogwarts to become an auror is no easy task for Harry.  He relocates to London and needs to find a roommate, so he places an ad on Craigslist. A tall and lean young man named Troy answers the ad and comes to Harry’s rescue.  Finally, Harry can pay the rent and the bills and Harry is at peace. But after a few months, Harry starts noticing that his roommate is a rather strange young man. Troy likes techno music, tight undershirts and the Logo television network.  Is there something wrong with him? And why is Harry uncomfortably drawn to him? Harry Potter finds out in Harry Potter and the Roommate with the Ambiguous Sexuality.

Harry leaves Troy in London and marries his Hogwarts sweetheart, Ginny Weasley. After a few raucous years of exploring Harry and Ginny’s sexuality, they have two kids and life begins to settle down.  A lot.  Nothing is new anymore.  The boredom and routine is killing their relationship. Ginny and Harry start quarrelling and things seem bleak until Ginny reads a story in Cosmo and comes up with an intriguing solution. Join Ginny and Harry as they try to reignite that youthful spark in Harry Potter and the Open Marriage.

Of course, that idea ends badly. Ginny and Harry find out that no magic can mend a broken heart. Now, journey with Harry as he faces a foe that makes Voldemort look like a drunken kitten in Harry Potter and the Divorce Lawyer of Malakadu.

Now, Harry and Ginny do love each other and they reconcile, but, the trouble doesn’t end there.  Harry faces the ultimate test in Harry Potter and the Unfulfilling Career.

Having decided at the end of the last book a change is necessary, Harry must move to the next step of his life.  Harry is making a comfortable salary, but it isn’t enough to raise two kids, keep his wife happy and save up enough to move out of the Burrow.   What will he do?  Find out in Harry Potter and the Grad School Dilemma.  See Harry try to slay the Great Minotaur Alla Turnell, the Grim Reaper Endicott, and the diabolical wizard Larry Sellers Anthony Tremaine! But first, he must find solve the mystery of Hogwarts’s transcript policy!

Is the strain of going back to school with a family getting to Harry? Perhaps!  We’ll see in Harry Potter and the Dysfunction that has Never, Ever, Happened Before…He Swears!

After graduating with an MBA, Harry goes to work in a rubber band manufacturing concern, and is learning all about quarterly reports, office politics, and omnipresent fear of getting laid-off and losing everything.  Amidst all this upheaval, Harry is once again challenged by a new foe.  Read all about it in Harry Potter and the Crushing Ennui of Adulthood.

In his lifetime, Harry has faced ultimate evil, the perils of love, and challenges of actually working for a living, but nothing has prepared him for his final and toughest enemies ever. Will he prevail? Find out in final book of the Harry Potter saga, titled Harry Potter and the No Good Children that Just Won’t Listen!


Written by B. Michael Krol

July 27, 2010 at 11:47 am

2 Responses

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  1. But what about Hermione and Ron? Will we get to learn about what happens with them, too?

    Abraham Heward

    July 27, 2010 at 11:56 am

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