Archive for June 25th, 2010
Afghan Whigs: Congregation
Just picked up Congregation via iTunes. Not that great guys…Miles Iz Ded is probably the highlight. Oh well…they can’t all be Gentleman.
John Curley remembering how bad Congregation was...
Icing a Bro…Really?
Seriously? Do people actually do this? Is “Icing a Bro” real?
For those of you that don’t know, Icing a bro is when some random douche bag walks up to another guy — a bro, as it were — and hands him a Smirnoff ice. That “Bro” is supposed to drop to one knee and chug the Smirnoff Ice. However, if that Bro who is about to be Iced has a Smirnoff Ice, he can hand to the the Icer and then he becomes the Icee, who must then drink both Smirnoffs.
This guy aint afraid of being iced by a bro...
When I first heard about this I almost put my head through a wall it was so stupid. This just proves my theory that all Frat guys are secretly gay. How else could this kind of stupidity catch on? These guys are running around hoping someone ices them so get to drink it “as a punishment.”
Jesus guys, the net time you engage in that kind of public humiliation and degradation, at least use a safeword.
Simple Solutions to Complicated Movie Problems: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Edition
Okay, so last night I was watching Buffy season 7 episode 18 (Dirty Girls) and a thought occurred to me: Buffy was screwing up strategically.
This will be Dick Cheney's favorite post of mine...
For those of you who don’t know, this is the episode where Buffy goes after Caleb for the first time. She gets her ass kicked, several potential slayers die, and Xander loses an eye. Oh yeah — there were spoilers in that last sentence.
Caleb and these weird guys without eyes (the “Bringers”) are holed up in some weird barn looking thing on a vineyard. Buffy decides she needs to take them out so she gets her army and heads over there. At that point the whole thing goes kerplooey. Afterwards, she wants to go back and everyone bails on her. Her own sister kicks her out of the house. Harsh bud, bro.
The problem was Buffy attempted a frontal assault and got defeated, handily, by her enemy. Caleb is stronger than her and the Slayer potentials are just weak. Buffy’s main strategy in combat — close quarters hand-to-hand — is an effective one in this case.
Here’s what she should’ve done.
Get some machine guns. A lot of them. Aim them at all the doors from fixed points pretty far away. When the Bringers and Caleb come out, shoot them. A lot. Shoot them in the face. Shoot them in the chest, in the legs, in the junk, etc. These guys aren’t that tough. Knives can bring down the Bringers, and Caleb is only tough in close quarters. Solution: shoot them in the face. Dick Cheney them, as it were.
How should Buffy get them to leave the barn? I’m glad you asked. The barn is made out of wood and stone. So here’s what you do: when the machine guns are in place, fire bomb the shit out of it. Just start throwing Maltovs like you were playing GTA IV. Eventually, the jackasses inside the barn will get the picture and leave. When they do, they get shot in the face. Done. Caleb is killed, the First needs a whole mess of Bringers, and Xander still has both eyes.
What’s really irritating is Buffy has used this strategy before. When she went up against the Judge, another devastating hand-to-hand opponent, home girl used a goddamned rocket launcher. That’s forward thinking. That’s being pro-active and getting shit done.
He got blowed the F up...
In conclusion, when in doubt, shoot people in the face.
Oh, and about that Seal in the basement of the school. You know the one — it’s where all the killer Uber Vamps come from. Here’s a solution: concrete. Lots and lots of concrete. Fill the damn room full of concrete and then go have a shake. Easy, right? Somehow the idea of using a lot concrete to seal up a room eluded a crew that includes a dude that works in construction.
Anyway, still a great show and a good episode.
How Quickly Things Turn…
Been watching the Brazil/Portugal game on ESPN. Brazil is ranked #1 in the world and Portugal is ranked #3 and it was interesting watching two world powers play the game. It’d be even more interesting if I knew what I should be watching for. That being said, Brazil’s ball control looked very good. That’s my game analysis. Insightful, huh?
The new US Soccer themed commercials were fun to watch. Landon Donovan is being featured in quite a few of them, in the same Titan of the Game way that is normally reserved for people like LeBron James. I think that’s pretty cool, myself. Soccer has always been a 2nd tier sport in America and it’s nice seeing our team capture the geist of the zeit.
Americans need someone to look up to (better to tear them down later, after they’ve become successful) before rallying behind a cause or a team. We’re suckers for the charismatic leader. Now it appears that Mr. Donovan is that face of US Soccer. Good for him and good for his sport. If his team can pull off a win against Ghana on Saturday, US Soccer will win over a lot more people. Cause if there’s anything we love more than a charismatic leader, it’s a winner.
Ruminations, etc.. 